Sometimes people say things to me and they stick. Most of the time I just shrug things off. I don’t care what you have to say about a certain person or about thing. I usually make up my mind about something or someone and until I’m proven wrong I stick with that idea.
That is, until someone told me from an observation they have that the certain person isn’t “building you up and making you a better person rather than that person is showing you what not to do and who not to be.” But honestly, this can be about anyone. If you think about it, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone does stupid things. But it’s true, when the person only causes you headaches [daily] maybe it’s time to let go.
It’s funny. I’m an open book. I have no problem talking about myself and my friends and my problems to anyone, to a certain extent. I tell my “best friends” everything, and in turn, they tell me nothing. Actually, ironically enough, the one person I would expect to not tell me things because they’re so closed in general, is the one who opens up to me the most.
I look at other best friends and can’t help realize that my life looks more like Blair and Serena from Gossip Girl than Rory and Lane from Gilmore Girls. I know all friendships are different, but maybe I expect too much? Maybe I picked the two girls in this world that are so closed up that they would rather keep it all in than let it out and speak to me and open up.
Honestly, if I ask someone to text me when they’re home or when they get to their destination, its because I care. It’s not because I’m trying to be nosey. If I didn’t care then, if you ended up getting into a car accident or something, I wouldn’t know, and I really wouldn’t care.
I’m done caring. I am going back to the mean person I was. I’m done trying to cater to you and your feelings. I’m done trying to text you and see how you are just so you can get annoyed with me and my “attitude.” I’m done trying to figure out exactly what to do or say so you won’t feel attacked or hurt. [No worries school friends, I’ll still be me at school, this is for those who I hang out with outside of school]
I’m sorry you feel the need to lie and hide and cheat. I’m sorry you can’t trust me enough to know that I would never get mad if you do something stupid. Or whatever.
Whenever you feel like needing a friend I’ll be here because I love you. But I’m done making an effort.