I don’t understand how some people can lie and lie and lie. It’s just really difficult to understand how you can sit there and lie to someone who loves you. Who you say you love. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Do you keep a little black book of lies? How can you lie to someone who has given you everything? Who has sacrificed so much for you? I just don’t understand…
It pisses me off that I care so much for people. I really wish I could be heartless. I wish that all I could think about is me, me, me. But that’s not who I am. I care for people. I open up my heart to everyone and often, I get really hurt.
Another thing I don’t understand is that when people ask you to be honest, do they really want that? Or are you just saying that but in the back of your head you’re thinking oh no please don’t say what you’re going to say because I don’t really want to hear it.
I love being honest. Yeah, sometimes that means that people won’t like me. Sometimes it hurts when you hear the truth about yourself. When people tell you things, it sucks! Especially if it’s something you don’t even want to accept about yourself. I’m not gonna lie, I’m not happy when people say things to me that I don’t want to admit, or hear. But sometimes it’s necessary to hear those things.
I’ve realized, I don’t want to change myself. I love myself. I love that I’m caring. I love people. I’m not gonna change. If you don’t like what I say or what I do, then leave; do us both a favor and leave before I care too much about you. I’m sick of holding back and I’m sick of getting hurt, so leave if you don’t wanna deal.