gah.

It’s been really difficult to articulate in my brain and in words what I’ve been feeling the past two weeks. I know, life changes sometimes but it’s been really hard to cope with this one.

In the past four-ish months I’ve lost three best friends, I’ve ended a relationship, I’ve felt completely lost; on the other hand, I’ve made some friendships go from being just casual friends to people who are never ever leaving my life. I’ve also finished college. And, I’ve started seriously dating my best friend. Honestly, it’s been hard.

Maybe it’s just me but I feel scared that I’m moving on with life so fast. I mean, in the past week I’ve gotten called for 5 job interviews, I graduated from college, I’ve started thinking about the future. The scary thing is that the future is around the corner.

With these jobs I will be able to make enough money to finally move out. I say finally, because there comes a time when you should move out of your parents house. I didn’t get to do the whole college thing, where you move into a dorm at 18 and sometime between junior and senior year of college you move into your own apartment and then by the time you finish college you’re able to afford your own place because you have a job lined up because were able to intern somewhere during your junior year for one semester while you went to Europe the other semester. But really, I didn’t get the whole “normal” college experience, but I loved my college experience. Yes, I still live at home. No, I didn’t get to study abroad. The point is, it may be time to move out.

This is when the tough questions happen. Do I move out alone? With friends? If so, who? What if I can’t afford it? Will I be able to? Where do I move to? So many questions.

So yeah, it’s been a tough time. There’s a lot of new going on in my life and there’s a lot of change. I hate change. I seriously hate it.

I miss school already! I do, it’s stupid but I do. Thanks for letting me vent. I’m good for now.

“Let go of things you can’t change. Focus on things you can.”

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3 thoughts on “gah.

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