My Wellness Journal 

Hey y’all!!! It’s been a while… So, a little back story to this blog post:
I love love love stationary, office supplies, stickers, planners and lately, journals. I’ve never been one of those girls who has a diary, I mean yes, I’ve had diaries that I would start and two days later abandon because like, who even has time to write when you have friends you can talk to? Well, as you may know, I have been battling depression and anxiety for a long long looooong time now as well as some other stuff. Ever since I finished college it has kind of gotten worse, then it got better; journaling was a big part of the getting better process. I’ve been journaling for about five months now and I wanted to share what has worked for me.

First, let me start with my planner. I use it just like you would use your cellphone calendar but I get to decorate it and make it look super pretty every month. My journal, on the other hand, is something I get to play around with every day. It is not perfect, and I try to write in it every single day.  I am starting my new journal for September through December 2016, and I thought it would be a good idea to share my technique. Rule number one: it is YOURS and yours only. NO ONE has to see it or read it or anything. Be straight forward. Be honest with yourself. No one gets to judge you but you.

The most fundamental thing is to get a journal. Any will do, it depends on what you like. I picked this one because the quote makes me laugh and it’s like, low key, totally me. Haha.

Disclaimer** Most of these ideas I got from reading things on the Internet and making them my own. [thank you buzzfeed, lol]

Next, I leave a blank page and write that it’s my journal… Which can be seen in the featured image of this blog post. Not necessary, but I like to do it.

I then leave a page for the index, so I know where everything is located.

I write in my key for my logs.

I write in my overview for the next quarter of the year. This can include goals, birthdays, special events that are coming up, tasks, anything that you may want to see at a glance.

Then is my goal setting guidelines. I got this off a website a really long time ago, when I was searching for how to set goals in my life. I try to answer these three questions every time I set a goal.

Then, it is my monthly habits. I usually have a routine going, so I like to keep track of how many times in the month I do certain things. You can write down whatever you want on this page. 

I set different goals each month, in order to keep myself in check. I strive to finish each of these goals sets. The six categories I use are:
– Personal Goals: how I want to better myself this month.
– Relational Goals: these have to do with my relationships, including but not limited to friends, boyfriend, sisters, parents, etc.
– Professional Goals: how I want to better myself in my career this month.
– Health Goals: what I will do to maintain a healthy lifestyle, for example, weight loss, healthy eating, exercise…
– Blog Goals: what I want to do about this blog. Prompts I may want to write about during the month.
– Extra Goals: those that do not fit into the first five categories. 

I have a thing about quotes, I love them. If you check out my Instagram, almost every photo caption is a quote or a song lyric, which is technically a quote. I like having them down in one place so I can remember what I happened to like that month. 

I have an obsession with all things Disney. Disneyland, Disney movies, everything. I like to log what I loved about Disney during that month.

I keep a page so I can jot down what I have been grateful for that month, because reflecting on one’s good fortune makes you realize how good you have it. I also like to write down my “planning routine” which is basically how I keep myself organized daily and weekly. This works for me because then I don’t forget what I have to write down at the end of the day. 

Then, comes the daily log. I like to write down what I at that day, my daily fitness, my to do list, any news that may have popped up during the day and of course my venting of the day. 

I usually have a couple of pages about my therapy sessions: what I liked, didn’t like, hurt to hear, need to change, etc., but since I haven’t gone to a therapy session yet this month I will not be writing about that until the near future.

I hope you guys liked this post. I hope that maybe this will help some of you, maybe in organizing yourself or maybe in bettering your life.

xoxo, elia.

 

“A healthy outside starts from the inside.”
– Robert Urich

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The Truth.

Listen to this song.

Sometimes it’s really hard to tell the truth. Sometimes you have to pretend to be okay and maybe just maybe life will get better. I’ve gone through a lot the last couple? few? many? months. To be honest, I was completely scared of what I was going to do. For the first time in my life I did not have a plan. I put off graduate school, I put off finding a real job, I put off everything and was living in this stupid little world where all I did was sleep.
I pushed people out of my life that had been there for years. They were there but maybe not always in a good way, or in a way that I needed them to be. Sometimes their voices and opinions would fog up my mind. But, I am not blaming any of them for my decisions.
I’ve battled with depression, anxiety and self-doubt (among other things) throughout my adolescent and adult years. I’ve always talked to friends and decided that their opinions were what were most important in my life. This summer, I’ve finally hit the lowest of the low. I lost two of the people who had been the most important people in my life at one point. I tried OD-ing. I got drunk. I started going to therapy. I got put on anti-depressants. The lowest point, ever. And I can tell you right now that I’ve gone through things that many people would think would be worse than this, but right now its not, right now this is the worst.
I’ve been trying to get better. My family has been a big help. My parents are my biggest supporters. My sisters are amazing.  My boyfriend is beyond wonderful. My bosses have been understanding. I could honestly not be able to sit here and write this write now without my friends. The walks, the drives, the late nights in parks, the texts, the phone calls at 10 am, 3am, or 4pm, the hugs, the laughs, the adventures, the craziness, listening to me scream at them because of all the pent up anger and sadness. Thank you friends, you know who you are.
I honestly, from this point on do not care about anyone from my past. It’s called the past for a reason, right? Honestly, I wish them the best of luck. I wish them love, happiness, friendship, trust. I hope they find what they’re looking for. I hope and smile and honest to God wish them the best, for this is the last time I’ll think about you. The last time I’ll cry. The last time I’ll be upset and mad. Because at one point I loved you with all my heart, and I got scared and pushed you away, and you got scared and didn’t trust me, and I didn’t trust you. We lost the mutual love, the friendship. But it’s okay. Because you’re going to be okay and I’m going to be okay.
I am going to be happy, and this is the final part of my cleanse.

“Rain came pouring down when I was drowning. That’s when I could finally breathe. And that morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean”

Disneyland Forever Fireworks

So, as you all may or may not know, I’m completely obsessed with Disney. Like all things Disney. I love Disneyland. Last week, Lucas and I went twice in two days. On Thursday, I spent the day park hopping between California Adventure and Disneyland because Lucas took his cousin to CA Adventure and my uncle, aunt and cousins were at Disneyland, so I tried hopping between the parks.

It took us from about 9:30 am to 2:30 pm to do all the big rides at California Adventure, or at least get fast passes to the rides, even though some we couldn’t go back to ride right away. On the other hand, I got to experience both parades at Disneyland that day. The Soundsational Parade [which is so so so amazing, it’s really worth the wait], and the Paint the Night Parade [ which is too short for my liking, it’s not worth the wait]. So that day I got to do a lot at both parks.

The next day, Friday, Lucas and I went by ourselves. We arrived fairly late, but the whole point of going this time around was to watch the fireworks from a decent place in the park. During the 24 hour day at Disneyland, we were able to experience the Disneyland Forever Fireworks, but mostly just the projections that are up on Main Street. It was amazing. Friday, on the other hand, we found a spot right in front of the castle about an hour and a half before the fireworks started. This is not a place for you to be able to watch the Paint the Night Parade comfortably, or at all, since there are many people in the way.

We sat down, and as time got closer and closer to the fireworks starting, more and more people tried to shove their way into our personal space, so I recommend you bring a blanket or something to mark your territory.

We were able to sit for most of the time, but as soon as the fireworks and the display on the castle started, everyone began standing up, so we did too.

The whole show was amazing and it definitely makes your cry, or at least gives you goosebumps. Like a whole lot of them. If you don’t believe me read this.

One of my favorite things was that I was able to take photos in front of the castle with no other people in them. It was amazing (:

Here are some photos from the show:

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“To all that come to this happy place: welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America… with hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world.”

– Walt Disney

Big Girls Don’t Cry… Much.

Just a little preview of something I’m going to be recording on Cal State LA’s Golden Eagle Radio… Stay tuned… (:

“Big Girls Don’t Cry” Fergie (May 22, 2007) (click the link!)

Da da da da

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You’re probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection, baby
To be with myself and center clarity, peace, serenity

[Chorus:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, myself and I
We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do
And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I’ve got to get a move on with my life
It’s time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Don’t cry

The path that I’m walking I must go alone
I must take the baby steps ’til I’m full grown, full grown
Fairytales don’t always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

[Chorus]

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We’ll play jacks and Uno cards
I’ll be your best friend and you’ll be my Valentine
Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to
‘Cause I want to hold yours too
We’ll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds

But it’s time for me to go home
It’s getting late and dark outside
I need to be with myself and center clarity, peace, serenity

[Chorus]

La da da da da da

Comm Majors

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Okay, so all of you who read my blog consistently know that I’m a Communication Studies Major, more specifically Public Relations emphasis. Well, if you’ve ever interacted with us Cal State LA majors and you’re from a different major you know we mean business. Let me explain this a little bit…

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There are three main emphases here at Cal State LA: Public Relational and Organizational Communication, Social Change and Rhetoric and Interpersonal Communication Language/ Social Interaction. There was one more emphasis but it isn’t offered anymore. Now, if you interact with us on a regular, you know that [from my experience] PRs are insane. They are outgoing and fun, they talk wayyyy too much, they can keep up with several conversations at once and we are the biggest emphasis. The Rhetoricals are crazy smart, they will literally analyze the crap out of whatever you’re saying and throw it back in your face. I’m kind of jealous. The Interpersonals are the sweetest. They truly care about you at all times, how you’re feeling, how you’re doing, they’re like the best friends to have.

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I’ve heard people say, “how can you keep up with so many conversations? How do you guys even pay attention to each other if you’re all talking over each other?” Well, it’s a gift. Duh. Seriously. Unless you’re one of us you have no idea how awesome we are. We are intimidating to the outsider, but overall, we are the coolest people around.       11009387_10155350023765198_6347948447465923251_n   11139366_10155382789585198_1674644615545318545_n

This is one of my favorite articles that list things that people actually say to use, like, daily. But really, Comm majors get the best jobs. *Cross your fingers* Check this out!

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So, we have the coolest classes, the most amazing professors [I have to write a blog post for my Capstone class!] and the greatest students. We all truly care about each other. It’s insane. One of my besties Jami, says “we just have so much love for each other.” It’s so true. You’re having problems in your love life? Don’t worry, between all of us we will figure it out by the end of the day. You don’t get something in one of your classes? Chances are there are about 6 people around you that have either taken that class or actually understand what’s going on, and they’ll explain everything to you. Need somewhere to live? Don’t fret, we got you. Whether you’re stressing about homework and papers or wanting to go out and get crazy, we’ve got you.

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I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. Friends, I just want to thank you so so so much. I seriously love you. Like, a lot. I know I get crazy and loud, but thank you for putting up with the loudness. You guys are seriously the best. I just, can’t even. I’m gonna cry! I’m so happy I joined Lambda Pi Eta, Cinematic Visions and Golden Eagle Radio. With out you guys in my life, I could have never been this happy.

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I just can’t believe this is ending so soon. Can we just hit pause and pretend that this isn’t ending yet? Please? No? Come onnnnnn. Please. 11156130_10155382789640198_231437696097986193_n

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

– Tony Robbins

My best friends

There are three people in my life that I would like to thank. The past month has been emotional hell, with not being able to figure out what I want to  do with EVERY aspect of my life. These three cool kids have never put any limitations on my dreams and wishes.

IMG_2808andi 1Andi: You’re the best girlfriend I have ever had. I never in a million years thought I could be able to talk to someone about everything we talk about. I never though I could tell you ever single thing and never have one inch of judgement put on me from you. I know we both have very different lives, but the fact that you and I can be together just makes it all worth it. I can’t believe we are about to do it. I can’t believe we are going to graduate. After all the heart aches and struggles, the ups and downs, the crazy people that came in and out of our lives, you’re still here. And I’ll always be here for you. What we have is something special. I love you so much (:

brian 2Brian 1Brian: You make me smile even when all I want to do is rip someone’s throat out. You’re seriously the best most happy-go-lucky person I have ever met. I love being able to be serious with you and tell you my struggles, but be able to laugh and have the best day ever with you just from laughing so much. I miss seeing you ever single day at work, but the fact that we still see each other once a week completely makes my week each and every week. I love that you’re straight with me when you know I’m going down a destructive path. I’m so happy you’re in my life, thank you. I love you (:

IMG_3601IMG_3673Lucas: You’ve been here for me always. The past six years. Popped a tire? You were there. Had a birthday? You were there. Needed someone to make fun of me? You were there. The past month we’ve both leaned on each other for so much. We learned so much more than we had in the past six years. I didn’t judge. You didn’t judge. You just get me. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there for me during this past month. You showed me what a true friend is. You lifted me back up to who I was. You made me realize that I’m freaking awesome. And brilliant. Duh. You support my crazy dreams. I could talk to you all day every day. You’re seriously one of the best friends I’ve ever had. Thank you for always being there for me. I love you (:

“Best friends are the people in life that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little brighter and live a little better”

Honesty

I don’t understand how some people can lie and lie and lie. It’s just really difficult to understand how you can sit there and lie to someone who loves you. Who you say you love. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Do you keep a little black book of lies? How can you lie to someone who has given you everything? Who has sacrificed so much for you? I just don’t understand…

It pisses me off that I care so much for people. I really wish I could be heartless. I wish that all I could think about is me, me, me. But that’s not who I am. I care for people. I open up my heart to everyone and often, I get really hurt.

Another thing I don’t understand is that when people ask you to be honest, do they really want that? Or are you just saying that but in the back of your head you’re thinking oh no please don’t say what you’re going to say because I don’t really want to hear it.

I love being honest. Yeah, sometimes that means that people won’t like me. Sometimes it hurts when you hear the truth about yourself. When people tell you things, it sucks! Especially if it’s something you don’t even want to accept about yourself. I’m not gonna lie, I’m not happy when people say things to me that I don’t want to admit, or hear. But sometimes it’s necessary to hear those things.

I’ve realized, I don’t want to change myself. I love myself. I love that I’m caring. I love people. I’m not gonna change. If you don’t like what I say or what I do, then leave; do us both a favor and leave before I care too much about you. I’m sick of holding back and I’m sick of getting hurt, so leave if you don’t wanna deal.