My Wellness Journal 

Hey y’all!!! It’s been a while… So, a little back story to this blog post:
I love love love stationary, office supplies, stickers, planners and lately, journals. I’ve never been one of those girls who has a diary, I mean yes, I’ve had diaries that I would start and two days later abandon because like, who even has time to write when you have friends you can talk to? Well, as you may know, I have been battling depression and anxiety for a long long looooong time now as well as some other stuff. Ever since I finished college it has kind of gotten worse, then it got better; journaling was a big part of the getting better process. I’ve been journaling for about five months now and I wanted to share what has worked for me.

First, let me start with my planner. I use it just like you would use your cellphone calendar but I get to decorate it and make it look super pretty every month. My journal, on the other hand, is something I get to play around with every day. It is not perfect, and I try to write in it every single day.  I am starting my new journal for September through December 2016, and I thought it would be a good idea to share my technique. Rule number one: it is YOURS and yours only. NO ONE has to see it or read it or anything. Be straight forward. Be honest with yourself. No one gets to judge you but you.

The most fundamental thing is to get a journal. Any will do, it depends on what you like. I picked this one because the quote makes me laugh and it’s like, low key, totally me. Haha.

Disclaimer** Most of these ideas I got from reading things on the Internet and making them my own. [thank you buzzfeed, lol]

Next, I leave a blank page and write that it’s my journal… Which can be seen in the featured image of this blog post. Not necessary, but I like to do it.

I then leave a page for the index, so I know where everything is located.

I write in my key for my logs.

I write in my overview for the next quarter of the year. This can include goals, birthdays, special events that are coming up, tasks, anything that you may want to see at a glance.

Then is my goal setting guidelines. I got this off a website a really long time ago, when I was searching for how to set goals in my life. I try to answer these three questions every time I set a goal.

Then, it is my monthly habits. I usually have a routine going, so I like to keep track of how many times in the month I do certain things. You can write down whatever you want on this page. 

I set different goals each month, in order to keep myself in check. I strive to finish each of these goals sets. The six categories I use are:
– Personal Goals: how I want to better myself this month.
– Relational Goals: these have to do with my relationships, including but not limited to friends, boyfriend, sisters, parents, etc.
– Professional Goals: how I want to better myself in my career this month.
– Health Goals: what I will do to maintain a healthy lifestyle, for example, weight loss, healthy eating, exercise…
– Blog Goals: what I want to do about this blog. Prompts I may want to write about during the month.
– Extra Goals: those that do not fit into the first five categories. 

I have a thing about quotes, I love them. If you check out my Instagram, almost every photo caption is a quote or a song lyric, which is technically a quote. I like having them down in one place so I can remember what I happened to like that month. 

I have an obsession with all things Disney. Disneyland, Disney movies, everything. I like to log what I loved about Disney during that month.

I keep a page so I can jot down what I have been grateful for that month, because reflecting on one’s good fortune makes you realize how good you have it. I also like to write down my “planning routine” which is basically how I keep myself organized daily and weekly. This works for me because then I don’t forget what I have to write down at the end of the day. 

Then, comes the daily log. I like to write down what I at that day, my daily fitness, my to do list, any news that may have popped up during the day and of course my venting of the day. 

I usually have a couple of pages about my therapy sessions: what I liked, didn’t like, hurt to hear, need to change, etc., but since I haven’t gone to a therapy session yet this month I will not be writing about that until the near future.

I hope you guys liked this post. I hope that maybe this will help some of you, maybe in organizing yourself or maybe in bettering your life.

xoxo, elia.

 

“A healthy outside starts from the inside.”
– Robert Urich

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gah.

It’s been really difficult to articulate in my brain and in words what I’ve been feeling the past two weeks. I know, life changes sometimes but it’s been really hard to cope with this one.

In the past four-ish months I’ve lost three best friends, I’ve ended a relationship, I’ve felt completely lost; on the other hand, I’ve made some friendships go from being just casual friends to people who are never ever leaving my life. I’ve also finished college. And, I’ve started seriously dating my best friend. Honestly, it’s been hard.

Maybe it’s just me but I feel scared that I’m moving on with life so fast. I mean, in the past week I’ve gotten called for 5 job interviews, I graduated from college, I’ve started thinking about the future. The scary thing is that the future is around the corner.

With these jobs I will be able to make enough money to finally move out. I say finally, because there comes a time when you should move out of your parents house. I didn’t get to do the whole college thing, where you move into a dorm at 18 and sometime between junior and senior year of college you move into your own apartment and then by the time you finish college you’re able to afford your own place because you have a job lined up because were able to intern somewhere during your junior year for one semester while you went to Europe the other semester. But really, I didn’t get the whole “normal” college experience, but I loved my college experience. Yes, I still live at home. No, I didn’t get to study abroad. The point is, it may be time to move out.

This is when the tough questions happen. Do I move out alone? With friends? If so, who? What if I can’t afford it? Will I be able to? Where do I move to? So many questions.

So yeah, it’s been a tough time. There’s a lot of new going on in my life and there’s a lot of change. I hate change. I seriously hate it.

I miss school already! I do, it’s stupid but I do. Thanks for letting me vent. I’m good for now.

“Let go of things you can’t change. Focus on things you can.”

Sometimes I Jump To Conclusions

This weekend I learned so many things. If you read my previous post, you know that I had a little bit of a rage post thing going on.

Sometimes, I’m too quick to judge people. Sometimes, I don’t remember to get the full story. I’ve decided to come up with a way of not going crazy. In the moment I will count backwards from 20, because 10 isn’t enough. I will also “sleep on it” if I feel really upset about something, before doing anything about a situation.

Blogging is now becoming a way of letting out my feelings. If you don’t like it, don’t read it.

The reason I’m writing this post is because I felt like Saturday, I jumped to conclusions. Sometimes you have to remember that people keep things quiet because they are ashamed of themselves. They’re ashamed of decisions they’ve made, or decisions they are on the ledge about making.

Anyway, my point is: I’ll wait and see when people need me. I’ll be there when you do, but I will not let you hurt me.

 

Done.

Sometimes people say things to me and they stick. Most of the time I just shrug things off. I don’t care what you have to say about a certain person or about thing. I usually make up my mind about something or someone and until I’m proven wrong I stick with that idea.

That is, until someone told me from an observation they have that the certain person isn’t “building you up and making  you a better person rather than that person is showing you what not to do and who not to be.” But honestly, this can be about anyone. If you think about it, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone does stupid things. But it’s true, when the person only causes you headaches [daily] maybe it’s time to let go.

It’s funny. I’m an open book. I have no problem talking about myself and my friends and my problems to anyone, to a certain extent. I tell my “best friends” everything, and in turn, they tell me nothing. Actually, ironically enough, the one person I would expect to not tell me things because they’re so closed in general, is the one who opens up to me the most.

I look at other best friends and can’t help realize that my life looks more like Blair and Serena from Gossip Girl than Rory and Lane from Gilmore Girls. I know all friendships are different, but maybe I expect too much? Maybe I picked the two girls in this world that are so closed up that they would rather keep it all in than let it out and speak to me and open up.

Honestly, if I ask someone to text me when they’re home or when they get to their destination, its because I care. It’s not because I’m trying to be nosey. If I didn’t care then, if you ended up getting into a car accident or something, I wouldn’t know, and I really wouldn’t care.

I’m done caring. I am going back to the mean person I was. I’m done trying to cater to you and your feelings. I’m done trying to text you and see how you are just so you can get annoyed with me and my “attitude.” I’m done trying to figure out exactly what to do or say so you won’t feel attacked or hurt.  [No worries school friends, I’ll still be me at school, this is for those who I hang out with outside of school]

I’m sorry you feel the need to lie and hide and cheat. I’m sorry you can’t trust me enough to know that I would never get mad if you do something stupid. Or whatever.

Whenever you feel like needing a friend I’ll be here because I love you. But I’m done making an effort.

School Friends

Today I realized why I love going to school so much.

It’s been a tough week with going back to school and work, getting back into the flow of life, among other things. I realized that my first week of school was amazing. It feel really great to go to class and the first thing you see are people smiling at you and saying hi. People who you haven’t known for too long but you want to see where it will go.

For a long time, I tried not letting new people into my life. I tried not hanging out with new people but this week I realized that I love my school friends. I love seeing them everyday. It’s so nice for someone to come up to you and say “hey Elia, I missed you, how was your break? Let’s hangout outside of school, soon?” Or just in general ask how your day has been, follow up on that certain thing we were talking about before. I love that my school friends don’t know details about what I’m talking about but are still supportive. I love that they don’t pry but are attentive.  I love being at school. It’s a really great feeling being able to run around from place to place, from work to class, from meeting to the gym. I love the hustle and bustle of everything surrounding school. Yes, it’s exhausting, but mostly, it’s exhilarating!

Honestly, I hate being home. Why? Because it’s so plain. I love running around from place to place all the time. I love being surrounded by people. I hate being alone. It’s time to make these friends into lifelong friends. I know graduation is coming up soon, and I have to figure out something to do during my year in between my BA and my masters, but I will. So I don’t go crazy.

Making Time

Just venting…

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I never have enough time to do anything. I mean, all I’ve done this week is go to work & my bff Domini’s birthday celebration with her family. I just feel like there’s never enough time to do anything exciting. I mean, I’ve been really excited to keep going on my Summer 2014 Bucket List, but it’s just so difficult to get everyone’s schedules all together. I guess I just don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling lately. I see my boyfriend everyday, for the most part, which is fine. The problem is finding enough time for him to be with his family and me to be with my family, but also, he enjoys being with my family too. It’s just hard to coordinate our time around our family. 

Now add in, one of my best friends has a kid, three work basically full-time and one rarely wants to hang out, so when he does I change my plans to accommodate him. These are just my close friends! How am I supposed to make time for every single one of my friend??? It’s just impossible. 

I think I’m just frustrated because it’s summer. I wish I could just go anywhere I wanted without having responsibilities; I guess things change when you’re 23. It’s just sad. And I feel SO tired ALL the time. 

Is there a special app for all of this? Like can someone please come up with an app that organizes all my time through out the day. Wake up at this time, use this much time to do your hair, this much for make up, this much for eating, this much for driving (and calculate driving time with traffic conditions), this much for work, this much for each friend, this much for each family member, this much to shower, this much time for sleep. 

I need some advice. How can I manage my family and friends without going crazy, and without everyone feeling like I don’t care?